The Montague - what will we miss?

Memories of The Montague Arms – as was…

As we await the reopening of the remodelled Montague, everybody seems to be expecting the worst, I have been thinking about what has happened there over the last few years, and who has played there. Here are my questions for you .

1-      What is your best memory of the Monty?

2-      What was the best gig?

3-      Who was the most famous / notable person or act you saw there?

So many major acts must have been through that damn door, that refused to budge without a major shove or pull, the same to the very end. Acts from this part of London like Squeeze, Japan, Carter and Fat White Family must have been there. Apparently comedy acts like Jim Davidson and Mike Lee were regulars. People like Gary Oldman, Ray Winston and Danny Baker doubtless know it. But who was the best act of recent years, since it reopened two or three years ago? Jeez , I cant decide. I gave Trailer Trash Tracies a big write up, but there have been so many others. Sonic Imperfections was a monthly night of experimentalism that occasionally served up music magic from the most avant garde end of the spectrum. There was a percussionist who had been to the Amazon, and had brought bird song pipes back. Playing each one in turn through a loop, and then accompanying it with a drumming storm on his tom toms,  I was transported from the Old Kent Road to the deepest jungle on a dreary weekday night. Wow, you would only come across that kind of magic at the Montague. As for the countless acts who thought we would be entertained if they played their instruments in an unusual way, blowing on a guitar, drumming on a trombone, that kind of thing, I reached the end of my tether with it long ago. But the chap who played a tuba while taking it apart was truly astonishing, in a good way. The band who performed with a photophone – transforming light into sound – were remarkable as well.  The audience varied widely in size from night to night. But nobody came close to drawing a crowd like King Krule – the queue went almost to the lights around the corner, spilling onto the road and literally stopping traffic.  Most recently , Adamski reappeared under a new name with a pink quiff and performing like a cyberage Elvis from Essex. It was home of the different, for this it will be badly missed.

As for best memory, I have to refer to an incident that happened outside one night. There was a group of us chatting shit and smoking when the local geriatric hardnuts on mobility scooters whizzed round the corner from their local haunt up Queens Road. Two of them went on down the road, but one of them was on the pavement, and a bicycle had been locked to the streetlight just beside the entrance. The bike blocked the way. The old fella screeched to a halt, stood up, and stomped towards us, effing and blinding about the cnut who had blocked his way. None of us knew who said offender was, so he went into the pub to find him. While we waited, one of our number tried to move the scooter. Grabbing it by the seat, the chassis remained where it had been parked, but the seat came away in our djs hand. So he was caught red handed when the irate old timer reappeared , steam coming out of his ears. How our Blonde hero survived the night I cant tell you, as we were all giggling to hard to hear. I have spent many nights chatting shit outside the Monty, lets hope there are more.

What are your top three? Either comment or send them in and I will publish them.

Montague Arms to reopen by April - same but different

New Cross News – Montague Arms to reopen at end of March

Two industrious twenty somethings were at work at The Montague when TG cruised by for a chat on Tuesday afternoon. Both sides of the interior are in the process of being gutted, the heart of the old Monty has been torn out. The rest is bound for the skip, and a new, shiny, brighter pub is about to appear. It will be lighter; windows will be cleaned or replaced. The bar area looks like it will be all changed as well, with the partition between function room and bar also removed. It will be a more welcoming and community-based venue, I was told. There will be no more moshing; Rammstein type noise merchants will not be appearing on stage.

I mentioned at this point in the conversation the petition which is appealing to the new owners to keep the venue as it was, with live bands on stage more often than not. There is nothing quite like The Montague in this part of SE London. They knew about the petition but they were not bothered by it. The new owners know what they want. It will be more laid back and all inclusive. The vibe will be funk, soul and jazz. It will not be punk / metal noise merchants. They mentioned a Chilean family had moved in nearby. I don’t know what the problem was; maybe the music and crowd antics had given the kids nightmares? But they didn’t want any more of it. The fellas implied there would still be live music, but of a very different style. So the old Montague is no more. Long live the new one ? We will see.

Dixieland Jazz is the main theme of a new show at Two Temple Place, one of my favourite haunts. There is a small collection of clothes and shoes, drums, 78s by Louis Armstrong and others, programmes and music sheets of all the first jazz music to hit these shores in the 20s and 30s. The explanatory texts are well done and informative, although the reason jazz bands were banned in the 30s was unexplained. The best bit is the art in the upstairs room, with two excellent Edward Burras the highlight. The films with early efforts at ambient and mood animations proved popular. On Wednesdays you can go after work as its open till 9pm, with live music giving the show an extra boost of hip n happenin’ live jazz of the 30’s. 

CBB 2018 + Bladerunner 2049 + Van Eyke

Is Celebrity Big Brother the first must see TV programme of 2018?

Spraying about the channels as you do on Sunday night, I came to rest on CBB 2018. I knew it was on but haven’t looked at it so far. Its so last year, ive done it, beyond most folks I know. Two or three series beyond my peer group, four, five, six, keep going, more than some folks who I know, who deem it the biggest waste of TV time since Eldorado briefly flourished and floundered. Well, on the main channels at least. Needing something light and fluffy to raise the mood in Treedown towers, I stopped there and turned up the sound. Wow, what followed was a fascinating and topical 40 minutes of TV, that reminded me why Big Brother was such a treasure in days goneby. The producers have been smart and picked some extraordinary people who have been chirpsing ( at least since the men arrived), clashing and chatting in a wonderfully interesting reflection of the conversations of the times.

The women are a much more interesting bunch than the page 3 and feminist clash we’ve been served up in the past. The first thing of note was the delightful Cortney Act’s entrance. Courtney, a well turned out drag queen, descended the stairs announcing the bottom half of her dress had fallen off as she posed for the public. As she held her hands out to embrace a fellow housemate, the same thing happened again and we were given the rare sight of what a man does to his privates to ensure as few bulges as possible ruin the silhoute. From afar it actually looked like a vagina with glitter on. Anne Widdacombe looked horrified. After a while the real drama queen emerged from the eight ladies; India Willoughby, an intelligent post-op transsexual. She is a complicated person to be around, no mistake, and takes offence easily. Which makes for constant drama as Anne and some of the men readily say the wrong thing, frequently and without remorse. She has a ‘phobia’ of drag queens, and sat rigid and stone faced as the rest of the crew had great fun when Andrew was made up by Courtney to be the evenings tranny. Which seemed a bit rich. Not everyone crawled and apologised for upsetting the poor thing, plus Andrew was upset by her attitude. Rows ensued. I get a definite feeling that India has been stirring up trouble throughout the female only first week, which I missed. But she was the centre of one of the most fascinating conversations Ive beheld for quite a while.

It was post row relaxing with a fag by the pool time. India announced she much preferred having sex as a woman, rather than as a man. Although she has never had sex as a woman. The first time she realised the possibilities now open to her was while watching Dr Who over Xmas. Apparently it was when a dalek entered the fray that she got a hint, a trembling down below perhaps, that she could be turned on in a way that she had never experienced, pre-op. I don’t believe a dalek was the true cause for a moment, but I do think something innocuous sent waves of pleasure through her new body, she had no knowledge existed inside her. “They should give you a map” she reflected, meaning the hospital that had performed this wondrous transformation. Just what body parts does she now have, one was forced to wonder. Can she have babies? She really is uniquely placed to comment on sex and sexuality, in these turbulent times. She seems to be surrounded by intelligent enough company to bring the discussion to the heights it reached, on a regular basis. Quite how she knows this is the case, without having performed the deed as a woman is a question I hope someone asks in the coming days. I will be watching, no doubt.

A similar theme was my main problem with Ridley Scott’s Bladerunner 2049, sequel to the best sci-fi movie ever made, in my book. He has made it in time to reuse Harrison Ford in the main part of Deckard, now old and lonely, holed up in a no-go zone of Las Vegas. As this is because its a radioactive zone, I don’t know why he is unaffected. But the main problem is not the new generation of replicants, or the design, or future world imagined as full of holograms and plastic (or are they made of latex) people. The problem is the main plot point unfortunately. I hope its not a spoiler to state the story revolves around the search for a baby, apparently born of a Nexus 6 generation replicant. Now please Ridley, come on ! Really ? We are meant to believe a robot could have a baby? No matter how smart. That is just daft. Yes the movie is magnificent to watch; the soundtrack is utterly wondrous. But it makes the movie. All the characters except new protagonist Ryan Gosling as G / joe, new bladerunner, are quite peripheral and one note. The pace is ponderous and plodding with few action sequences, so the sense of wonder and involvement depends largely on imaginative design. Like the original, the story does involve some fascinating themes. Just as the impact of memory on each individual becomes a central idea examined from replicant and humans point of view in Bladerunner, so is childhood spotlighted in Bladerunner 2049. How does it feel for someone to have had no childhood? Or what if you doubt the authenticity of your childhood memories ? What if your memories are not your own, but someone elses? What if they are not even that, but inventions of someone else's imagination? Confused? You would be. And if you dont concentrate, you will be if you havent already seen it. Its good, but not great, and it would fail without the atmosphere delivered by the soundtrack.  I give it 8/10. Shame, it could have been so much more.

Van Eyke and the Pre-Raphaelites

This was an eye-opening show which explained a lot to an ignoramus like me. Why were the group of Victorian painters including Burne-Jones, Rossetti and Millais, called the Pre-Raphaelites? For everyone who has been around the Tate Britain a few times, they are all familiar. In the main room upstairs there are gorgeous paintings by all of them, the flame-haired beauties who descend the stairs and languish in a Roman bath. The picture of Ophelia lying on her back in the pond. The Lady of Shalot, another woman dressed in flowing velvet robes, the redhead leaning back, hands on hips in her boudoir, the pretty garden behind the mirror and windows. All these masterpieces are here, as are many new examples of works from the 1850s to 1870s, depicting the age of chivalry. They all are connected to the centerpiece of the show, Van Eyke’s Arnolfini,the peculiar couple with holding hands in a bizarre fashion, with the mirror reflecting a different couple lurking behind the artists viewpoint. Why did these largely beloved artists love Van Eyke, but distain Raphael, the great 16^th c Renaissance master?  I felt I had found out stuff, lots of stuff, beyond the answer to the question. and I was delighted I had found out so much about technique, stories and use of mirrors and reflections, the theme which is the common thread, running through the eight or so rooms. This is how to curate a show; explain but don’t badger. Dont overload the text with too much info. Keep it manageable in size and detail. This show in the National Gallery's Sainsbury Wing ticks all the boxes. If you can, go, its worth the entrance fee (£10 without gift aid). .