Cabaret Playroom - Deptford Albany

Cabaret Playroom at The Albany Deptford– 18-04-17

Curators Tricity Vogue and Lisa Lee have been running this twice yearly event for a fair few years in one of the small studios at The Albany in Deptford. It’s designed as a showcase for new acts and for more experienced performers to try new material out. Seeing as you pay what-you-decide is fitting at the end, you cant go far wrong by attending. Of course, I went close…

I have walked past The Albany many times going to or from Deptford High St. But finding it by car is not so easy, so I missed the first half which included cello player Mark Bunyan, the Naked Stand Up Miss Glory Pearl and Clare Benjamin trying out a new character called Marlene; she was still in character speaking in a German accent when we chatted in the interval. I was given a warm welcome by Tricity Vogue so I was horrified by my loathing for the opening act of Part 2 of the evening’s entertainment. Lord Hicks walked on sporting a bizarre costume which put in mind Malvolio and his yellow cross patch pantaloons Shakespeare invented for maximum laughs.

Such was Lord Hicks demeanor he took to the stage to silence. He had no patter or jokes to break the ice, just an apparent misguided self-belief in his brilliance and beauty. There followed three interminable songs accompanied by a ukulele including a version of a well known pop classic with new words referring to his main theme; the 50^th anniversary of the decriminalisation of homosexuality in England. Its all very worthy Lord, but funny or entertaining it aint. What is more, the whole thing went on far too long. We should have been given an opportunity to vote for a third song, in case the majority of the audience was experiencing feelings closer to being tortured instead of entertained.

This idea gained strength in my mind when the next act – a duo called Kate Like - went through a bizarre opening “number” which started as a silent mime of I know not what, and ended with the audience being asked to write down words on post it notes. They were collected on a board with fifty words required before the first song proper began. This included all the words collected. Why ? I don’t know !

It got better. Sarah-Louise Young is a super talented singer who has Kate Bush perfected, especially her voice. Babushka was performed with tweaks to the lyrics and introduced with a story from a fan who had posted it on social media. Matthew Floyd Jones was equally inspired in this mixture of mime, dance, music and song. Some of it worked, some of it fell flat; the first number was just confusing, but by the end they had won the audience and myself round. There was no doubting they are both talented performers who are at home on stage. When I remarked to Matthew afterwards that some of the Kate Bush stuff went over my head as I am not an expert, he explained the act is primarily about fandom and not Kate B. Fair enough, I look forward to seeing the long version when they have it finished. In the meantime he can be seen at the Brighton Festival and in his other role as the male Carpenter of the 70s AOR / MOR partnership. I just hope they don’t start the act with another word association game. They got some polite suggestions tonight, but Karen Carpenter might bring out the worst in people. Eating problems like anorexia often does that; there are funnier people to portray after all.

So that’s two depressing stories Ive remarked upon in this review of a Cabaret evening. I think there may be a better time and place for this kind of material. Cabaret is fun. It you aren’t fun and you aren’t funny, I suggest youre not a Cabaret act. Just listen to the song lads n lasses and you wont go wrong. Well, not far wrong anyway.